CHRISTIANESE

Christianese: "If it be God's will."
Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one.

Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer."
Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time."

Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift."
Translation: "Find someone else."

Christianese: "Fellowship"
Translation: "Organized gluttony."

Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Translation: "I'm totally clueless."

Christianese: "Lord willing . . ."
Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't."

Christianese: "I don't feel led."
Translation: "Can't make me."

Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!"
Translation: "What an airhead!"

Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him."
Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!"

Christianese: "Prayer concerns"
Translation: "Gossip"

Christianese: "In conclusion . . . "
Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so."

Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands."
Translation: "Don't expect me to help you."

Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!"
Translation: "Give me all your money."