CHRISTIANESE again!
Christianese Translator
. "Touch not mine anointed" Means: Do what I say without questioning.
. "You are 'out of your place' in the spirit" Means: You are not complying 200% to my every command.
. "Jesus came to bring a sword" Means: I want you to cut off your family and friends and become co-dependent on me.
. "Sanctify your emotions" Means: Turn off your brain and let me do the thinking for you.
. "You have an independent spirit" Means: You have begun to think for yourself again - now stop it, or else!
. "Yeah, and the Lord would say to thee..." Means: I'm getting ready to give you your marching orders.
. "I'm getting ready to read somebody's mail" Means: I want you to think I have psychic powers and can read your mind.
. "We should all speak the same thing" (based on 1 Cor 1:10) Means: Always agree with the leadership, anything else is strife or rebellion.
. After "Joe" leaves the church it is said of him: "Oh, Joe wouldn't let us pastor him". Means: Joe wouldn't submit enough and let us control/manipulate him.
. "Truth is not always the truth if it is not spoken in love." Means: you are in sin if you say anything bad about us!
. "The Bible doesn't have anything to say about votes, ballets, etc." Means: I am in total control & you will have no say-so."
. "I'm discerning an attitude!" Means: I am about to rip one of your heads off in public to make you an example of what happens to anyone who crosses me.
. "I wonder if some of you are even saved!" Means: Your assurance of salvation should not be based in your acceptance of the sacrifice that Jesus made at Calvary, but rather in adhering to my every demand - and that has been brought into question!
. "This is not a democracy - it's a theocracy." Means: I am in total control here. Whatever I say goes.
. 'I'll pray for you.' Means: "Too bad about your situation--glad it's not me --glad I don't REALLY have to do anything to help--see ya")
. "God put it on my heart" Means: "I really want to tell you this (or really want to do this) and if I just say I WANT to, you'll be able to tell me why I shouldn't, but if I tell you GOD SAID then you can't argue with it, can you?)
. "Quiet Time" Means: (NO clue what that was when I went to church... never read it in the bible)
. "Praise and Worship" (What's the dif??? ....oh yeah.... we had some teaching about the difference from time to time so you could tell when you were praising and when you were worshiping. LOL!)
. "I'm blessed" Means: "life sucks, but I have my head buried in the sand and am avoiding all issues in my life in favor of seeking after religious experiences"....)
. "I love you in the Lord" Means: I CAN'T STAND you in the natural! LOL!!! )
. "Baptized in the Holy Spirit" Means: They spoke in tongues at least once, so now they have our stamp of approval. We expect you to believe that this altered state of consciousness is totally controlled by God, and that it only happens in a Christian culture.
. "Dance in the Spirit" Means: It's Ok to dance a jig in church, so long as we believe that God gives the moves. Just move your feet, silly. We'll supply the music. Better not have a human partner!
. "Filled with the Holy Spirit" See "Baptized in the Holy Spirit"..
. "Gifts of the Spirit" Means: Well Ok, there are more than one, but WE only want you to speak in tongues. It keeps the service more lively and impresses others, especially visitors.
. "Nominal Christian" Means: Normal Christian, not one with super-gifts. Those in other churches. Not one of us because we know we are more holy and could teach them some things!
. "OF God" Means: What we perceive as good... looks holy. (All white)
. "OF Satan" Means: What we perceive as bad... looks evil. (All black)
. "OF the flesh" Means: Anything people do that we just don't think is right. (Oh Oh, Grey area!, but more black than white.) Watch out! Satan is lurking...
. "Slain in the Spirit" Means: We knock them down & expect you to believe God did it.
Side note: Someone stands behind them to help them fall easy. This is our insurance policy, so there's no personal injuries, hence no lawsuits.
7 Comments:
Someone is obviously nursing some hurts Glad he's not in our church
ROFL :-)
Ahhh the world of blogging anthony (if thats your real name!)
alias's are there to protect someones real idientity...
ROFL? rolling on the floor laughing!
Very cynical....a bit sad really that someone feels this way. Not denying that some of these comments are funny, some sadly ring true, but overall to deny the power of God and attempt to rip others' faith off is the enemy's job...not ours.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 "encourage one another and build each other up"
I think we're missing it here!!!
I disagree Michelle, i have been at the end of a few of these and have seen many friends have their faith ripped off using these spiritual manipulations. I think we should be more worried that any of these have actually been used that they now become a standing joke. Encourage one another yes, encourage them to take a good hard look at the Christianese they use to manipulate or explain away things.
You are into books (abtruth) - have you read “The subtle power of spiritual abuse” - a book that I think EVERY church leader should read? It is not condemning, but does cause one to think carefully about how we lead and interact with others.
I agree that these things do happen in the Church but, for example, saying that "'Slain in the Spirit' means we knock them down" just totally denies the power of God and the fact that His power does effect some people that way.
Even back to the old Salvation Army days....they used to call them "Glory Fits"
Being skeptical is one thing, becoming a cynic means you can begin to mistrust all...hence having faith becomes a real difficulty.
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